forgot to carry the zero

on tuesday i went to bath, which is about an hour and a half's train ride south of east of here. what a beautiful city. the most beautiful i have been to since landing in the mother country. you can see the photos i took here. i had loads of fun exploring bath abbey and the roman baths, and then wandering around the city, the buildings and the shops.

it's a very arty city, and it's beauty has obviously inspired many people, judging by the galleries and shop after shop filled with gorgeous wares and clothes. and for the first time since 2006 i was inspired to write. my lack of inspiration to write the stories i use to be able to come up with has tormented me for years. but something stirred within me in bath, so i bought a notebook and spent a good couple of hours writing a story that's been floating around in my head for a few months now. it wasn't something original, in terms of it having played out a million times in my head, and i guess counts as fan fiction, which is why no-one will ever see it but me. but it gives me hope that i'll be able to continue, and hopefully when i get back to sydney i'll have the time to take a creative writing course and work on my skills.

i also bought a new watch. it's cheap, plastic and shaped like a bracelet. not really worth taking a picture of. but what i wanted to mention is that it's digital. no-one really knows this besides my mum, but i, the girl who will turn 26 in just over a week, have issues telling time. i have the minute part down, i can tell you whether it's 10 past or 10 to etc, but when you throw in having to work out what hour it is too, i get completely lost. i blame being left handed and right brained. i'm just not a visual person, and it takes me ages to see an image and have it sink in. if it's words, or numbers i'm fine, but if i'm looking at an image, i take a while to see the whole picture. i think it's the same gene that stops me from being able to see magic eye puzzles and find wally.

so i am officially abandoning analog time. i left my beautiful jag watch at home because i didn't want it to get lost, so this is the perfect time to leave the big hand and the little hand alone forever. or until i get back and go somewhere fancy where a plastic watch won't be socially acceptable.

i'm currently listening to a mix cd i made for a friend to introduce him to the bands i listen to. it's currently playing carry the zero by built to spill. what a song. and i believe after that we'll be going to brisbane to hear piece of shit by custaro. i've always said that glenn sang the best custard songs, and it's true.

2am

i can't sleep, so i am posting my to do list for tomorrow [or later this morning i guess] on the intorwebs, in hopes that it will actually get done. instead of the sleeping all day and lazing about watching gilmore girls that i've done on my last two days off.

-buy new sunglasses.

-go to marks and spencer, see if cute scarf with buttons on it is still there. purchase it.

-look for cheap accessories to liven up work outfits. broches etc. this can be my self birthday present.

-clean room, dust and vacuum.

-if there's time, dye hair.

-give housemate 1 money for tv license and internetz.

-see jersey budd at cardiff barfly. he opened for eskimo joe when i saw them in birmingham and was pretty decent, so i'd like to check him out solo.

whew, busy day ahead. better get back to bed

spring fashion cardiff style

it's still cold enough in the mornings here that all the girls wear socks with their ballet flats. usually it's black socks, but i figure if i'm going to do it, i'm gonna do it in style

it's alright

work's going ok i guess. some days i really hate it and dread going and wish that i'd gotten a job at primark or something instead. but most of the time once i'm actually there it's ok. i think it's just that it's always so busy, and i'm just not used to it. the only time there has ever been more than 10 seconds of downtime between calls was at 8am on saturday morning. i'm just too used to being lazy i guess that i can't handle it. at ups we were taking 100 calls a day between the four of us, i reckon i'm doing more than that in a shift by myself. oh and someone called me inept on saturday, which i tried really hard not to take personally and failed.

and then right when i was in the middle of a "i hate my job and why did i even come to this stupid country for?" crisis, i got an sms from my dear friend hope saying that she's been stalking me on the internet, and it made me feel so much better. combine that with some lovely twitters from my favourite internet peeps, and a long email from vanessa, i'm back in the swing of things. i am going to kick this call centre's ass, and i'll be running the show in no time.

i have three days off next week. that gives me one day to be hungover and do nothing, one day to do housework and go and finally buy the awesome scarf i saw at marks and spencer the other day, then on the third day i really want to go to bath and look around there. it's only about an hour and a half away on the train, and will hopefully be quite beautiful and scenic.

it always manages to creep up on me, but it's my birthday in a few weeks, which means we're also half way through the year. i won't be doing much, just dinner and drinks with my housemates, their boyfriends and some people from work. we might even go down to cardiff bay which is a bit trendy and modern. my mum said that her and nan are going to send me some money so i can buy my own present, so i think i might organise a day trip to london to go shopping on oxford high street. i have also added my address to facebook so you can send me a card or a letter. HINT HINT.

and that's about all i have to say at the moment. good night cardiff, good night internets.

of course i have ghosts

what's up wk.com? i bet you thought i had abandoned you completely. i guess i'm just too busy living life to be writing about it at the moment. i really need to schedule twice weekly blogging time or something.

so work's good. i've finished training now, and tomorrow is my first day on the phones. just between you and me, mr blog, i'm shitscared. i felt the same when i started taking calls at unitel too. i guess iinet ruined me for other call centres because the billing system was just so easy to work around, and so user friendly. and there was only really two programs i had to get my head around.  here there's like 14 and the billing system is needlessly complicated. then i have the added drama of worrying about not being able to understand anyone that lives further north than birmingham. i should've just gotten a job in a bar.

speaking of bars, one of my housemates works at walkabout, which is a chain of australian themed pubs. think lots of men at work and khe sahn. however they also serve bottles of extra dry for 1.50, so i don't mind going there. i've been hanging out a bit with the staff who are mostly aussies. it's been nice to hear the accent again, and listen to aussie music and stuff. however, it's made me glad that i don't work there because the only people i'd hang out with would be other australians. and what's the point of that? it's boring. i'm the only aussie at my work, and sure they give me lots of shit about saying dollars instead of pounds and the way i pronounce the word pink. but that's what i'm here for. and already i've met dozens of rad people from all over old south wales. and hopefully soon i'll be able to understand more of the valleys accent than just kebab and strongbow.

in music news, i saw bishop allen on friday night at clwb ifor bach. it was a tops night. photos are here. they all seem to be of christian rudder, but that's because i was closest to him. and i'm a the spark fan girl from way back. i remember during school holidays i used to stay up way too late at night and watch his webcam while he was at work. good times. apart from that what have i been listening to? according to last.fm lots of nada surf, but that's par for the course. i've been listening to a british group called the broken family band. it's lovely music about shagging girls and getting pissed. i like it.

i've also been reintroducing myself to the rentals. seven more minutes is my favourite non nada surf album, and it's one of those albums that, i don't know. have you ever just been in a weird headspace, or a bit depressed, and then you listen to an album, or read a book, or see a film for the first time and it just fucks you up and flips everything you know and you feel around and you end up a little bit obsessed with it for a while? the first time that ever happened to me was when i listened to seven more minutes. i remember at the time feeling so trapped by high school and suburbia and smm let me break free. while i listened to it i was in barcelona with matt sharp. and i was staying up all night drinking and smoking. and i was writing with him in bathroom stalls. because all i've ever wanted to do was write. but i am trapped my my own imagination, or lack there of.

and i remember being particularly captured by a line from she says it's alright "she says it's alright with you, it's alright without you. either way is just fine. either way you're not mine." i don't know why, but i wanted that. i wanted someone i could take or leave. i guess i wanted to be grown up and have grown up sex and a grown up, fucked up relationship. these days all i crave is stability and someone to split a two meals for 7 quid deal with at the pub.

this obsession thing also happened to me last year with jonathan safran foer's novel everything is illuminated. not last week but the week before i was feeling a bit emo, and i found myself at borders so i bought a copy. stupidly i had neglected to bring mine with me from australia. oh well, now i have two. i started reading it and i found myself back in sydney. sitting in the starbucks in the qvb, drinking iced coffee and removing myself from all the work mess and the noise. but that book is still beautiful... these are my ghosts, the spaces amid love.