vale

rest in peace, jane.

into the sunset

last night i went to the farewell party for two of my favourite people to work with at iinet. i hadn't been to an iinet event since october, and it was great to see everyone again. all the regulars were there, and a few oldies turned up out of the blue, like my first team leader.

it was weird. i don't miss working there. and most times i don't even really miss everyone. we still keep in touch on facebook. and i don't regret leaving. but for one night i was back there, and i wanted to be apart of it again.

but now i think again and i realise that i really like my job now, even if i do whine about it a lot. and my team now are the best team i've ever been a part of. in the space of less than a year, james and vanessa have become like family. and i was never as close to anyone at iinetz as i am to those guys. and here i have responsibility, people ask me my opinion on things before they make decisions. i get to help in the recruitment and training of new employees. and i'm in charge when our team leader is away. if i had stayed at iinet, i'd still be in exactly the same place as i was now, because i'd never be good enough at tech to be a senior, and there's really no where for promotion or moving into different roles without going to perth.

it was also sad, talking to the guys who were leaving, to realise that in the last 24 hours, the company had lost 16 years of experience. and in an industry that is still so young, that's like several life times. but no-one in management had tried to get them to stay. and that's the problem with the whole place. and hearing other people talk about the changes that had happened since i have left in regards to monitoring and stats made me even more happy that i left when i did.

so today i slept, and pottered around the house a bit, but generally didn't do much. i'm up early tomorrow to be at body pump at 8:30. then i don't have much planned besides maybe cleaning my room.

this is my favourite macro evah

superstar

feeling like being someone else.

why have i stuck myself with this suburban life?

i want to be edie sedgwick

i want to be kathleen hanna

i want to not wash my hair and wear old red woolen cardigans and take lots of drugs

i want to not worry about staying up past bed time on a tuesday

i want to be free of every thing that ties me down

i want to live in the middle of the city and not own a tv

i want to have more scars

boring

birthday was fun. i love you all.

head it aches.

sex and the city movie was better than i had expected, but not awesomes.

project runway australia will be interesting. let me just cut to the chase now and say what everyone will be thinking in six weeks "needs more tim gunn."

memo to the the sci-fi channel: it's a long weekend, you need to get a tng marathon up on that shit.

not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. lots of crap shit happening.

football on saturday night was good, except for every single bulldogs fan being a see you next tuesday.

thanks liam, you're best.

some things that have happened

well the first thing that happened was i hurt my back. it's an even worse story than when i hurt my back last year bending over in the shower to pick up my face wash. i got out of bed last thursday morning and my back was a bit stiff. after a shower and stuff i was struggling to bend over. it got worse and worse during the day, then on friday morning i couldn't roll over to get out of bed.

i went to the doctor, and he said i had an inflamed disc, and gave me some awesome pain killers. but stupidly i forgot to get a doctors certificate. even though this is the first day off i've had all year, because it was a friday work wanted a certificate. it took me three days of chasing the doctor to get a certificate.

by thursday my back was completely fine, and i had plans to have dinner with some friends in surry hills. now a bit of back story, my nan was in hospital last week. after she got out on sunday, my mum went to visit her but said she couldn't stay long because nan had spent the whole time vomiting. she had obviously picked up a virus in hospital, and by monday my mum had it.

so on thursday at about 5pm i start feeling sick. hoping against hope that i hadn't caught mum's virus and it was just the risotto i had for lunch, i headed out to dinner. i caught the train from town hall to surry hills, and the heat of the tangara made me feel dizzy. i got down the stairs of the platform on the devonshire street end and threw up everywhere. in peak hour. in the busiest train station in sydney. how embarrassing.

so i start looking around for a toilet, or a cityrail staff member to apologise to, or something and i'm sick again. it was almost comical. in slow motion the spew hit the ground and this guy turned around, and as he registered what happened, the look on his face turned to horror and he started walking away faster than before.

i threw up three times before i found a toilet, and not a single person helped me or asked if i was ok. i guess they all thought i was drunk or a junkie. i feel bad about it now, but at the time i felt so sick, and embarrassed and upset that i didn't go and find a cityrail employee to tell them that their station was covered in puke, but i guess they would've noticed soon enough.

i sat in the toilet there for half an hour cleaning myself up and trying to call my mum to get her to pick me up so i didn't have to catch the train home smelling like puke. unfortunately she was asleep and had the phone off the hook. so i took my vomit covered top off, buttoned my coat, bought a bottle of water and got on the train. i sat down as far away from other passengers as possible, but still a woman said to me "honey, you look like you've had a long day."

as soon as i got home i threw up again, and from then on it was pretty much hourly until about 3 am when i finally passed out. the next morning i was still feeling queasy, but as i'd had the last friday off i had this stupid idea that people would be pissed, or think that i was faking, so i turned up to work. of course the first thing my team leader said when i told her the story was "why are you here?!" but i made it through the day without being sick. granted i didn't eat anything yesterday, and i still feel icky today, but i haven't thrown up in about 36 hours.

not related to being sick or injured, two weeks ago i went speed dating with a girl from work. i don't know. at the time i had fun. i got kinda drunk so i guess that made it better. but it was a bit sad. there was no-one there who was my type. and i think only a couple of guys who were taller than me. and then it seems that no-one i liked, liked me and vice versa because out of the 6 guys that had picked me, i had only picked one. maybe i filled the form thing in wrong. ahh well, it was something different.

one last train story. a few days ago i was on the train going from central to town hall. i was standing up, holding on to the centre poll, minding my own bizness when all these old people got on. on of the ladies brushed up against the poll as she moved into the train, and as she did, she rubbed her boob right up against my hand. accidentally feeling up old ducks; what an awesome way to start the day.