like i had to see what i could lift

i have read with interest over the last few months, the journey of heidi. a girl who decided for many reasons to undergo weightloss surgery. she had the procedure in november, and has already lost around 100 pounds. she has found many aspects of her life getting easier since the operation. mobility, blood sugar, ability to sleep at night are all improving for her.

blogging is interesting in the fact that it is very voyeuristic. i am a fly on the wall of so many people's lives. and as such, i don't feel the need to participate like some people do. to comment and email and be involved. i just like to watch. therefore, i will save my message for heidi and write it here instead. YOU GO GIRLFRIEND! WOO.

but this brings me to my own journey. i have always been big. i am used to it. and i guess if it wasn't for my impending trip next year, i wouldn't be doing anything to change it. i would still be sitting here eating pizza and going to mcdonald's for lunch three times a week.

but i have decided to do something about my weight. and i have two major reasons for it.

the first one you might view as slightly warped. and the fat acceptance peeps will come down on my like a tonne of bricks for it. but society is willing me to lose weight. i am doing it so i will fit into the hot clothes i see in sportsgirl and portmans. so i can fit into a pair of sass and bide jeans. so i can wear a pair of heels all day. and i am doing it so boys will find me more attractive. i am sick of being single. and i don't want some guy who likes me just because he likes fat girls. or someone who feels like they can't do any better. i want someone who likes me because i am hot, and have a good sense of humor, and because i'm happy and friendly and kind to everyone.

my second reason is more to do with fitness. like i said, i am going on a world tour next year. and i am going to need to be a lot fitter to be able to haul a back pack around all day. to ride a bicycle around cardiff like i plan to. i want to be able to walk all day and, no that's it, i just want to be able to walk all day.

so yeah. really my main goal is to get fit. and losing weight is just a by product of this. but it's going to be so great to be able to wear gorgeous clothes and look fierce.