troublemaker

it's late and i can't sleep. my window is open because my bedroom smells kinda funky, and all i can hear is my neighbour is moaning like he is about to die. i have no feelings of sympathy towards him. i just want him to shut the fuck up.

i want it to be 2000, and i want to be listening to motor ace and talking to tink on icq.

i want it to be 2003 and i want to be sending mez dirty text messages late at night

i want it to be 2006 and i want all my thoughts to be wrapped up in a boy.

but blah blah. it's 2007 and most of these things don't happen any more. i miss the tinker like hell, i send mez messages far too rarely, and there i've spent the last 6 months crushing on some boy with absolutely no result.

mr neighbour is still hacking his guts up and moaning like he's been shot. i should go put him out of his misery.

all my life seems to be about lately is facebook. adding more and more friends, making sure i have a hot profile picture and stalking people from high school. everyone i've found so far has a cooler story to tell than i do.

my life revolves so much around work. even at the moment all i'm really thinking about is that i have to be up in 6 hours to go to work. all my friends, just about, are work friends. the only time i go out is to work events/farewells.

but i've just left all that behind. i don't really miss it. i miss some of the people, but not the place. i don't know how i survived for so long in that place.

and i don't really know why i've taken a job which is like the next step up from what i was just doing. i have no creative outlet at all. well besides putting photos and pictures up on the walls of my desk area.

but really, what radio station is going to hire me. i finished uni in 2003. so that's 4 years of not working in the industry. the only jobs i could get would be volunteering, or in bourke. maybe i should start volunteering at one of the local stations.

i need to hang out with my friends more. or i need a boyfriend who will go with me to gigs and on adventures. and who will take cute photos with me.

i want change. i want colour. i want to be able to tell you about all the exciting things i do and see. instead of being emo at one in the morning.

i should stop. stop rambling. stop before i say something i shouldn't.