the internet facts of life

EVERYBODY GETS SPAM.

you aren't special. we're not doing it on purpose just to annoy you. don't get upset when i say that it's directly proportional to how much you broadcast your address on the interwebs, i'm not lying to you about this.

most of all, don't get pissy when the only product you have with us is an email address that is forwarding to your new isp email address and we don't block your spam anymore. if you hadn't left us this wouldn't be happening. fucker.

armitage shanks

dear windswept richard marsland,



marry me. please.

we can spend our nights together in matching weezer t-shirts listening to pavement.

life would be beautiful

xx

m

blargh

another dude from work left today, so i stopped briefly at co-worker drinks before going home to watch gilmore girls and veg. instead i got suckered in to stopping by my downstairs neighbours for a glass of wine and a chat.

now i'm massively drunk.

confessions - #2

this is just about my favourite webpage ever.

i can spend hours reading about where different highways start and end, and the towns they go through on the way. then i think about which roads i've travelled on, and which ones i'd like to  go on

shenanigans field style

i spent today out in tha field cleaning out my old room in preparation for my return. i'd parked out on the street, and it was dark by the time i was leaving. it was also raining.

the dude who lives two houses down is the world's biggest sticky beak. he knows everyone in the suburb's business. he's also a royal pain in the ass, and once forged everyone in the street's signature on a petition to get the lane way next to his house closed. when the council discovered that everyone else in the street was actually pissed about the closure, and hence his deception, they opened it back up again. hah! but i digress.

homeboy was standing out on his porch, in the dark, in the rain, watching me get into my car. as i pulled out onto the street, my headlights illuminated something on the road. it was a small rocking horse, obviously belonging to one of the neighbourhood kids. i drove around it, then pulled over to go and move it over to the gutter.

as i did this, mr neighbour yelled out "don't touch it! there's acid or something on it. it hurt my hands and i had to wash them!"

seriously. what the fuck? if i had asked questions i would've been stuck there all night standing in the rain talking to him, so i just said "ok thanks. bye" and ran back to my car. when i got home i called mum and told her to call the hazmat team, or ansto to dispose of the horse. she told me that she'd let me know if it had mutated into a live horse. we agreed that terrorists are responsible.

the girls of the internet

last night ended up with drinking punch out of a soup pot on my lounge room floor. while playing card games from a nudie deck because the adult store was the only place open that sold cards at that time of night.

good times.

now, as soon as i can be bothered getting dressed, we're off to have breakfast in newtown. then we'll head to the scg to see some rock. we suck at being unionists though cause we're far too lazy to march.

erin!

here are the photos i have of your wedding.

also, remind me to send you pictures of my couches.

passe

there's nothing worse than seeing someone wearing a top that you own, and it makes them look all frumpy and lumpy.

this has happened to me twice in the last week.  my first thought in both instances was "if that's what they look like, imagine how i must appear. *die*"

the europe manifesto

1. fly to england. work in london or there abouts for a few months. make sweet moolah.

2. travel by train through france, germany, the czech republic, poland, lithuania and lativa to estonia. stop along the way at rad places of interest.

3. settle in talinn for a couple of months. the easiest way to get a working visa into estonia is to do one where you can only work at one place for a max of three months.

4. after the first three months, if estonia sucks, go back to the uk and work again. if not, stay in talinn for a while. go to helsinki and other cool places on the weekend.

5. fly home via north america. visit toronto, montreal and nyc.

6. see nada surf play as many times as possible. even if it means stacks of red eye flights and weekend trips to spain.

parallel lines

one of the girls at work just told me that i look exactly like deborah harry.

even if she meant deborah harry circa 2006 it's still the best compliment ever.

OH NOES!!1!

my foxtel remote control has stopped working.

how am i supposed to watch five episodes of law and order: svu a night if i can't change channels?

this is seriously putting my couch potato status into jeopardy. i might have to *gasp* go outside. or worse, talk to people!

licensed to ill

i skipped work today. not because i'm sick or anything, but because i got home late last night and felt like sleeping all day. and that's what i did.

but because work are uppity about things like this, i had to go and get a doctorb's certificate. i presented to the doctor with general symptoms; headache, runny nose and a sore throat. the three of which were technically true, but explained by a slight hangover, chronic hay fever, and goddamn, it's a rare day when i don't have a sore throat. it's been happening since about 1998, i'm used to it. i really should do something about having my tonsils out or something.

anyhoo, the doctor looked at my throat and went "oh, that must hurt" and later he said "i know you must feel awful at the moment, but it will get better soon." then he wrote me out a certificate saying that i have a respiratory tract infection. apparently i am sick. who knew. i thought i was just lazy.

i also, apparently, have dermatitis in my ear. crazy. my ear has been itchy as lately. shit, i hope it doesn't spread to the rest of my face. that would be unpleasant. i have a prescription for ear drops, and have instructions to try not to get the inside of my ear wet when i'm in the shower. i tried just before, but it's not exactly easy. i'm going to have to start wearing ear plugs in the shower. what a nerd.

last night erin, rach, james and i went to see a taping of the chaser's war on everything. it was really good. we gave chas the address of the chaser slash livejournal community. i didn't realise it was friends only though. hopefully chas will go to the effort to create an eljay and join the community to give these people the mocking they deserve.

before the show, we attended co-worker drinks for our departing call centre manager. afterwards we went back to see if we could score some more free drinks. we were in luck. everyone was still there, and all of them were drunk off their asses. it was quite funny. people who i've spoken to maybe twice telling my friends how awesome i am.

i've got the weekend off and completely free for the first time all year it seems. no plans as of yet. i might go up to gosford for the newcastle souths game. it feels like the right thing to do. it's so horrible that the best player the modern game has seen didn't get the chance to play one more game. didn't get the chance to have the send off that he deserved. didn't get the chance to lead us to one more grand final campaign.

i was thinking about it today while i was waiting to see the doctor. i've been watching andrew play since i was 12. that's half my life. it feels like someone has died. that overwhelming gloom that you get in knowing that you're never going to see your loved one again. it's kinda like that.

a black day

http://www.foxsports.com.au/story/0,8659,21532579-23214,00.html

read the story yourself. i can't form the words to say anything at this point

just in case...

what to do if asio visit.

of football and going home

ahh easter. remembering the death of jebus by stuffing ourselves with chocolate. my kind of holiday.

so in the spirit of getting religious with it, mum and i made a pilgrimage. we travelled the holy trail paved by our forefathers. up the F3 to mecca energy australia stadium in newcastle to watch my boys take on the evil melbourne storm. unfortunately they lost, but it was definitely an improvement on last weeks shellacking.

kurt gidley is playing full back these days. it's a lot like when mark hughes filled in for robbie o'davis in 98/99, every time a bomb goes up the entire crowd holds their breath because there's about a 65 percent chance that he's going to drop it. other than that, he's playing really well. he's a lot more confident to run the ball this season, and his defence has improved out of sight.

the first two games that we won were without our big guns, johns and buderus. now that they're back, the young guys who had to step up, like kurt and jarrod mullen, step back and let them do all the work. but that didn't work in canberra, and it only just worked against melbourne. it will take us a few more weeks to gel as a team, but once they do find sync with each other, we should be one of the best teams in the comp.

we only get there once, maybe twice a year, but there's something so uplifting about being one of the sea of red and blue jerseys in the crowd. i usually get to away games in sydney though, and that can be fun too, being the only one in the section standing up and cheering when your team runs out.

i also decided over the weekend to move back home. i think the reason why i haven't really done anything about finding a new housemate is because i don't want one. but on the other hand i don't really want to live by myself any more, and i'm having trouble affording it. plus i want to save money so i can go overseas next year, so i'm going to move back in with mum.

i'm going to take some time off work at the end of may/beginning of june and firstly clean out my room at home and get rid of all the junk that's been accumulating since about 1994. then pack up all of my stuff, and get rid of everything i don't need. oh and we're going to put up a shed in the backyard to store all the junk that we don't really need, but don't want to get rid of.

so if you need some couches or a dining table, let me know. i'll do you a good deal.

confessions - #1

i purchased the following songs off the itunes music store:

-my humps

-fergalicious

and i listen to both on a regular basis. and i enjoy it.

linky linky

50 things she wishes you knew. [via sixfoot6. which, except for maybe something awful, is the only site i read back in high school that i still read now]

and

the ultimate goodbye email.

new school

if i ever became the principal at a high school, the first thing i would do would be put a ban on eyeliner.

why do teenage girls think raccoon eyes are a good look?

lets try a new change

i've come down to earth in the last week about the moving to estonia thing. fuck, i'd love to do it. but i have responsibility here that i can't just drop, like credit card debt and a mobile phone contract. plus i'm not exactly saving any money at the moment by being sans housemate.

but i should do something. i'm in such a rut at the moment. i have a mediocre job, i'm single, and i spend most of my nights at home watching tv.

so maybe i should spend 2008 living in a foreign land. what a story i'll have to tell then. i need to start taking risks. i need to start living.

and i need to start making life better for myself. i'd love to take the internal promo part of my job, which i currently do on an ad hoc basis and turn it into a full time thing. i need to come up with a plan. i need to show the peeps in charge that they do need someone working full time on chartsengrafs.

i need to spend more time at pubs with my friends. i need to see erin more cause she's awesome. i need to catch up with the chicks from the mystery shopping factory cause i haven't seen them in like a year.  i need to see more live music.

i need to stop thinking about all this stuff and actually do something.

v festival - a day in the life of miss trigger-cut

the day started early, at about 6:30am. for no other reason than i still haven't adjusted to the end of day light savings. i got up, had a power breakfast of bacon on toast and a kahlua and milk and watched a couple episodes of my latest kick, gilmore girls.

after breakfast i headed off to westfield burwood to buy some disposable sunglasses. when i'm travelling light to festivals, i usually go and buy some cheap sunglasses that i can just throw away and therefore not have to carry around once it gets dark. however, every time i've done this i've ended up loving the glasses so much that i've kept them and worn them on a regular basis. this time was no exception.

i also wanted to buy a hot pink singlet to go under the black t-shirt i planned on wearing. i checked all my regular clothing joints, jeans west, sussan, target, but nothing. all they seemed to have were earth tones. so i went to supre. i haven't been to supre since my mum used to get my bike pants from there in 1993. the good news was that they had singlets in every colour you could imagine. and only $10 bucks too. who knew? i think i've been missing out on something here. and now i have a zomg pink supre bag. i promise not to use it to tote my wares around town.

at about 12:30 i wandered over to the station to catch the train into the city. i didn't quite capture it, but when a train comes down the suburban line towards the station, it looks like it's about to crash right into the platform. my trip into the city was uneventful, and soon i met up with my old school chum and companion for the day, erin. we caught a bus to centennial park which took forever to get up oxford street. yawn.

we got in and hung out with erin's brother and his girlfriend for a while, then we went to check out the softlightes. they were pretty good. kinda emo and very much in the style of dashboard confessional; just a little bit more electronic. after they finished we grabbed a drink and some lunch and sat down with some cool girls in the extra tent. they were giving away gum and mints, i now have heaps of each. we took some photos with the promo losers, and we found out that erin is a man who likes cock.

later in the afternoon we were sitting down in the shade and talking about high school. apparently heaps of chicks in our grade are lesbians now. i bet the one girl who was out back in those days is spewing about all the potential pussy she missed out on. around that time we started to notice a trend, a really bad trend. fluro and lots of it. examples here, here and here. as this was the first had heard of this startling new fad the kids are into, we decided that it must be an eastern suburbs thing. sure enough, the first person we asked about it said he was from waverley.

around 4:15pm, it was time for some rock. the new york dolls are old. their first album was released 34 years ago. but they still know how to kick it, just like iggy pop and mick jagger. it was amazing being able to see looking for a kiss being played live. after they had finished we hit up gnarles barkley, mainly because we'd heard they had a crazy stage show. they didn't disappoint, with all members of the band including the orchestra, dressed in tennis outfits.

we decided to risk a mission to the toilets as the sun set. there we found all the peeps. the lines were crazy long. so long that the kids started peeing up against the walls of the toilet blocks. this was so popular that soon there was a line to get to the wall. far out.

finally it was time for beck. and he had puppets. what a show! he played all the rad songs, devil's haircut, e-pro, hell yes, loser, new pollution and where it's at. i rocked out old school to that last song. because cranz and tink are where it's at.

ahh the pixies. what can i say? kim deal looks like a school teacher, and frank black looks like a bit of a creepy old man, like he'd be into the kiddie porn or something. but screw all that because they fucking rocked. it was so intense and loud and my voice is all scratchy today from screaming out the words to debaser and nimrod's son.

and then the day was over. erin's brother gave me a ride to the station which was rad because it had started to rain. all in all one of best festivals i've been to. kick ass music, not too far to walk between stages, hardly any goths and lots of shade.

today i'm feeling tired and a bit seedy. i had to be at work at 9:15, so the only choice was a greasy maccas breakfast. mmm, look at that grease. it's my window to weight gain.

it's crazy that i've been able to see the pixies. i never thought it would happen. all i need now is a pavement reunion and a tour by the rentals and i'll die such a happy girl.