tha field

i've been staying at my mum's house these past few days because my hot water service is broken. well, it's been broken for a while, but i've finally become annoyed with taking cold showers. hopefully they'll fix it tomorrow.

it's been so nice being back at home. intelligent conversation and ironed clothes. and everything in tha field is slow and easy. i know exactly where every thing is. and it feels just like home. but the trip into the city for work is twice as long as from my house. and at 7:15am it drags and makes my head hurt.

tha field , located in sydney's outer south west, and its surrounds, are filled with poverty. a lot of the people and the places are desolate. wave after wave of generations don't know any better. they think life is at its best not having a job and being pregnant at seventeen.

most of the kids who i grew up with have kids themselves. they all still live in the area. they'll never leave. they fuck cause there's nothing better to do, and because it's passed down from our elders that it's the right thing to do as soon as you hit thirteen.

i remember being about nine or ten and talking to a girl who lived across the road from me. i used to go over to their house every tuesday night and eat pizza after  their mum had gone  to the rsl. i have no idea where their dad was. in jail probably. she used to tell me about how many boys she had screwed. and how all she wanted in life was to have a kid by the time she was sixteen. i used to tell her about how i wanted to be a sports journalist and give side line comments during the coverage of the football on 2ue.

the funny thing is that she reached her goal and i work in a call centre.

the first time a boy kissed me i was twelve, or maybe thirteen, and it was in one of my friend's garage. we sat there and talked and he touched my boobs. he told me he wanted to fuck me. i had no idea what to think about this. i knew all about sex, and knew enough to know that i should wait until i was old enough to drive. the next day i got a stomach virus and the boy dumped me because i wouldn't leave the house while i was throwing up so much.